How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 5 Practical Tips

5 very practical tips to stop comparing yourself to others and embrace who you are by shifting the focus from the outside to the inside

You, whoever you are reading this, are amazing. And nope, I don’t mean it in a cheesy way – I truly believe that every person has something unique and valuable to offer to the world. I am convinced that everyone needs to embrace who they are and always compare themselves to themselves as they were yesterday – not other people.

I would be silly of me to deny the evolutionary benefit of comparing ourselves to others. As social animals, we learn all kinds of things by comparing ourselves to others, however when this natural reaction becomes the reason why you feel inferior to other people and lose faith in yourself, something needs to be done.

Here are 5 practical tips (can’t stand those ‘just try to focus on what you like about yourself’ advice) how to stop comparing yourself to others in a way that causes you stress and harms your confidence.

Yup, jumping right into it:

1.Check closely who you follow on social media. Do you ever get a feeling that someone represents that unattainable goal when you look at their pictures? And after just looking at them, you feel that your mood drops 10 points instantly, despite that the pictures are nice? Yes, they are the people you need to unfollow. They aren’t bad people or anything (by no means!) – it’s just the common effect of social media.

Despite what we might think, we aren’t very rational creatures. We know that they’ve spent hours doing makeup, dressing up, taking selfies, and then editing that only one that looks right, but all your brain is telling you is ‘omg this person is so much more beautiful/rich/successful than I am’ and this is what harms you. Kylie Jenner said in her interview that she takes hundreds of selfies to get the right one!

Now please hear me out on this: social media account is nothing more than a peek through a keyhole into someone’s life. They show only the good things, like anyone would. If following these people somehow negatively affects your confidence, it’s time to move on.

Similar: 10 Reasons Why I Quit Watching Beauty YouTubers

2.Find icons and role models that are famous for their substance as human beings first – then their appearance. Appearances are deceiving and temporary. That’s not to say that they don’t matter – they definitely do! However, the substance of a human being matters so much more – immeasurably more. If a person is famous just for their body parts, then it’s more of a museum specimen – not a role model.

I can tell you though that there are many iconic people who combine both substance and beauty – you can see my personal role models in my ‘Icons’ category. Once you start paying attention to human qualities of these people, their appearance will become secondary. Dita Von Teese is a living piece of art, but it’s not why I admire her. Same applies to Eartha Kitt and Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis.

3.Write down your long-term goals. It can be anything – one-year goals or lifetime goals. It also can be any goals – from writing a book to traveling somewhere, from spending more time with family to getting a pet – anything that your heart truly desires. Then write down the steps you’ll need to make to reach them.

After you write it down, think about how spending time looking at someone else’s life fits in there. I’m guessing it doesn’t. The truth is that social media makes us waste too much time watching someone else live, while this time is ours and it will never return. Make your life and your time be about you.

4.Embrace your own taste. Think about an outfit, hairstyle, makeup, or even one item of clothing that you consider ‘badass’ – I’m sure you’ll instantly visualize it in your mind.

For inspiration, I can share my ‘badass’ images: Rihanna, 80s, Tuba Büyüküstün

Next time you go shopping, try something badass on. Or finally get those badass sunglasses you’ve always wanted. Let yourself be a rebel a bit and let your inner sense of taste shine – despite the current fashion trends, what people say, etc. It can be something small like a hair accessory or just makeup look that’s a bit bolder than your usual one, but one you’ve always wanted to try. It doesn’t have to even cost anything – it can be just hairdo.

You’ll see that once you let your own taste reveal itself, you’ll feel empowered and immediately stronger. You’ll also see that embracing your own taste feels so much better than trying to chase the trends or someone else’s style. Shift the focus from the outside to inside.

5.When in doubt, workout. Well, this one is simple. Working out boosts serotonin production and release, so you’ll automatically feel better. If you make it into a habit, working out will also tremendously help your body stay healthy. If you combine it with healthy eating (at least exclude junk food) you’ll be investing in your own future. It can be yoga, weight training or a walk – it doesn’t matter what type of activity you choose. What matters is that you’ll shift the focus from someone else to yourself and your own well-being.

I suggest we all rejoice in embracing our own goals and using the time we have to live the lives we really want instead of comparing ourselves to others!

See you in my next post,

Alex

P.S. If you enjoyed reading this post, make sure to subscribe for more by clicking the ‘follow’ button. The quality of my content is very important to me and the only way I’ll develop this blog is by contantly improving it, so join in to see what it grows into! No spam guarantee – only notifications about my new posts.

Author: Alexandra @YouAndMeAndCupOfCoffee.com

Passionate researcher and writer. Coffee maniac. Pilates enthusiast. Makeup and skincare junkie. Occasionally - movie and book reviewer. Come join me on my quest!

13 thoughts on “How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others: 5 Practical Tips”

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I feel like for women Instagram can be especially toxic because of all the beauty ‘standards.’ All these steps definitely helped me cut a great deal of negativity out of my life and bring a lot more positive energy in – hope they’ll do the same for you ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are very welcome! I’ve enjoyed reading your blog. Instagram used to be a place to post photos of scenery and food, but now that has changed so, so much. My account is anonymous so hopefully it contributes in reducing the stigma around beauty standards! Thank you very much x

        Liked by 2 people

      2. I’m very glad you’re enjoying reading my blog – your comment made my day! Completely agree about Instagram here – I used to go there for inspiration, witnessing beauty, but now it’s a wild goose chase of completely false beauty ideals. Recently I’ve watched this podcast https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ggGSXO0Juw8 and it just makes me feel grateful that I was growing up without social media and at the same time sad for teenage girls of today. It absolutely will make a difference – big changes start with every individual!

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re very welcome! I think I have a healthier relationship with social media than most people my age, but it does definitely affect me. I’ll check out the podcast! Thank you for sharing with me.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. You’re welcome! I think social media is like everything else – has both good and bad things about it, depending how to use it. I think we’ve definitely got what to love social media for, but it’s best to sometimes stop for a moment and think what’s best for us in the long run.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. When you said in the beginning that the only person you should compare yourself to is yourself from yesterday — no truer words have been spoken! And I love how these tips can easily be incorporated and are not as abstract as some other tips I’ve read.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel the same way. Sadly, the majority of articles and posts on this topic include generic things, which, although correct in essence, are just impossible to actually apply in real life. This is what made me share this post in the first place – I eventually discovered these things on my own, in practice. It makes me so happy you’ve found it helpful ❤️ Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I really enjoyed this post. By following influencers too much, it could undoubtedly cause undue stress. We have to realize that this is how they make their living. 

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Absolutely. On the one hand, we watch and follow influencers to get inspired or for entertainment, so picture perfect content is probably what we want and expect. On the other hand, it’s really easy to forget that it’s truly their job and nobody’s life is perfect.
      Thank you for reading and commenting ♥

      Like

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